she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
