I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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