Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
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Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.