i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
