I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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