Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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