We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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