If i come over, it means nothing
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
