He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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