I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
