Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
