Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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