i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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