I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
