That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
