okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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