dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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