So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
