there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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