so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
