I can't watch pbs sober anymore
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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