Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All I want is dick and wine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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