Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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