The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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