oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
there is puke in my bra ... again
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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