Porn is love you can see.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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