there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
