So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
