i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
