my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
