well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
