am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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