Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
