worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
