you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
