omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.