we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.