her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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