honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
