would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
