Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
