There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
