Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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