We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
