tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
