there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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