So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
