Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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