so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize