I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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