is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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