it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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