Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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