I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
