No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
