You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
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All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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