we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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