Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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