NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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